1. |
Daddy's Disappointment
04:09
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I was eight years old, got my first B+
Hid it in the basement with the Christmas stuff
Heart racin’ when he’d ask me, “Got your grades yet, hon?”
Made it three whole days ’til I ‘fessed up
He said, “No after school Coke, and no TV.”
“It’s not the B+, it’s that you lied to me.”
I remember wishin’ it was that easy
I cried the kind of tears nobody sees
That’s how daddy’s little girl grows up to be daddy’s disappointment
Waitin’ tables and shitty boyfriends
‘Cause he said, “All that potential, but you don’t have the drive.”
And all I learned how to do is how to prove him right
I’m Daddy’s disappointment
I was 15, learned my first three chords
When he finally caught me singin’ to the living room floor
He lit up like the night when a star is born
Soon my little dream wasn’t mine anymore
Every little country opry, every little country church
Singin’ someone else’s stories in someone else’s words
I hated every canned applause every damn half-verse
But the truth don’t shine through a sequin shirt
That’s how daddy’s little girl grows up to be daddy’s disappointment
Waitin’ tables and shitty boyfriends
‘Cause he said, “All that potential, but you don’t have the drive.”
And all I learned how to do is how to prove him right
I’m Daddy’s disappointment
I was 23, got my first big break
Learned how to make a living out of old heartache
Burned out 16th Avenue ’til I had nothin’ to say
Just a pawn in a game I never wanted to play
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2. |
Pretty
03:46
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It was my fifth grade Christmas pageant
I went up to read my passage
Got the giggles, the kind that you can’t stop
I crept back to my seat
Face as red as boys are mean
He said, “Hey fat girl, you ruined everything.”
I wiped the tears off my glasses
On my velvet Christmas dress
And I wondered if I’d ever be pretty
Watched the mirrorball spin
Around the middle school gym
Hopes were high, but I was shy, and he was a cool kid
My best friend asked him
To ask me to dance
He said, “I can’t, she’s too fat.”
And he just laughed
I pretended not to cry
By the free throw line
And I wondered if I’d ever be pretty
When I was 17
Some old has-been said to me
“Honey, you look like a million bucks
But if you lost 30 pounds
Oh, just think about it
I bet you’d look like 20 million.”
So I cut hard and I cut fast
Ran round and round the high school track
There wasn’t one damn calorie I didn’t know
I stuck fingers down my throat
To fit into my skinny coat
We all pretended not to notice the water running
Brushed my teeth and wiped my eyes
On a polka dot towel
I wondered if I’d ever be pretty
Now that I’ve grown up
I’ve tried to learn to love
Every curve, every line, every imperfection
There’s a woman in the mirror
But sometimes I still see her
The little girl who would never be pretty
I step up and let some number
Make it a good or bad day
I’ll be damned if I’ll ever be pretty
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3. |
Little White Lie
03:56
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I said it was the happiest day of my life
Then I slipped into the Sunday School room and cried
I was praying they were happy tears and I’d be alright
There’s nothing wrong with a little white lie
I posed with all my new and old girlfriends
In the dresses we would never wear again
We shot tequila in communion cups to calm the butterflies
There’s nothing wrong with a little white lie
So I sobered up
In the back of the line
Followed rose petals to the rest of my life
I said I would love him
’Til the day that I died
And there’s nothing wrong with a little white lie
Oh there’s nothing wrong with a little white lie
For a while I half believed that we could do it
Playin’ house and playin’ nice ’til we outgrew it
Now it’s oh my God, what happened, at least you didn’t have kids
And movin’ out on a long weekend
I can hear that lonely echo in the kitchen
The kind that lets you know that something’s missin’
Take one last look through the closet behind my little black dress
And I find my little white lie
Covered in lace
Two sizes too small
Damn Cabernet stain
They could never get off
How I was scared stiff
But I twirled through the night
Around and around in my little white lie
All covered in lace
Two sizes too small
Everything that I wanted I never wanted at all
Pull it down off the hanger
And I let myself cry
Into the arms of my little white lie
Into the arms of my little white lie
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4. |
Mr. Wonderful
04:06
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So you met Mr. Wonderful
Isn’t he wonderful
You thought you had it all
‘Til it all had you
He swept you off your feet
Open doors and flowers and chemistry
Up laughin’ every night ’til after three
Did it seem too good to be true
When he bought your favorite wine
For your friends that one time
Felt like he could read your mind
And it was kinda cute
He couldn’t spend the night without you
It was nice to feel desired
‘Cause he is Mr. Wonderful
He is Mr. Wonderful
Did he say “I love you”
A little too soon
Did you feel like you had to say it back
Before you knew
When you need a night out with your friends
Does he find a way to take offense
So you bail and you stay in with him
And everything is cool again
‘Cause you’re the only thing he needs
Sometimes it’s almost sweet
But you can’t forget about that dream
Where you were lying on the couch
With his hand over your mouth
And you wonder what that means
‘Cause he is Mr. Wonderful
He is Mr. Wonderful
Every day gets harder to crawl out of the confusion
Red flag anger, good behavior
Which is the illusion?
Now he slams you up against the wall
You blame the alcohol
He’ll sing his sorry song
Won’t happen again, again
You know you can’t stay
But you don’t have the strength
And yesterday was a good day
Is it you or is it him
You can’t see where you begin
Somebody tangled up the blame
‘Cause he is Mr. Wonderful
He is Mr. Wonderful
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5. |
Joy of Jesus
03:59
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He called her a slut
Just because
She was singin’ ‘bout one night love
So she looked him up
Said Trump/Pence 2016
Conservative Christian
You could hear him just laughing
“Did your daddy not give you enough attention?
You’re just a whore, but Jesus is Lord,
Don’t you want his forgiveness?”
Is that the joy of Jesus
Is that the joy of Jesus
Is that the joy of Jesus
Is that the joy, is that the joy of Jesus
She caught him red-handed
In her minivan
Goin’ down on the quarterback
So she sent him to camp to get reprogrammed
Cure that abomination
“‘Cause God don’t make faggots, son,
It’s a habit of your sinful generation.
It’s just a choice, forget about that boy
Don’t you want your salvation?”
Is that the joy of Jesus
Is that the joy of Jesus
Is that the joy of Jesus
Is that the joy, is that the joy of Jesus
For we do not have a high priest who cannot empathize with all our weakness
For we do not have a high priest who cannot empathize with all our weakness
And that’s the joy of Jesus
Is that the joy, is that the joy
Of Jesus
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6. |
Fine
02:40
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If I never get married
Is there something wrong with me
I don’t dream about the dress or someone to get old with
I’d rather be free
If I never have children
Will I have been all I can be
If all I do is put words onto paper
Will I leave a legacy
If there ain’t no right way
There ain’t no wrong
We get all worked up about what everybody wants
There’s no such thing as wasted time
So whatever you’re doin’ you’re doin’ just fine
It’s uncomfortable to field the questions
When you go against the grain
But that ain’t nothin’ like the chains of the prison
Of what everybody thinks
So line up your picket fences
I’ll load up my RV
I’ll be happy drunk, dancin’ at your weddin’
While you help me chase my dreams
‘Cause if there ain’t no right way
There ain’t no wrong
We get all worked up about what everybody wants
There’s no such thing as wasted time
So whatever you’re doin’ you’re doin’ just fine
No, there ain’t no right way
There ain’t no wrong
We get all worked up about what everybody wants
There’s no such thing as wasted time
So whatever you’re doin’ you’re doin’ just fine
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7. |
Somebody Else's Dress
04:01
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Every night she begs for a husband
One man who’ll fix the malfunction
She dreams up his name, what’s she gonna say when he sweeps her off her feet
But even if the piece fits what happens if it doesn’t
Every morning she puts on her makeup
She sings “There is Power in the Name of Jesus”
She prays, “Please take this away, I know You don’t make mistakes, I’ll do anything
To make love like I’m supposed to.”
She’s got a girl in Indiana and a Bible by her bed
Everybody’s trying to speculate what Jesus never said
She tries to walk the straight and narrow in somebody else’s dress
She’s got a girl in Indiana and a Bible by her bed
Her daddy says he’s got the solution
Line ‘em all up in the backyard and shoot ‘em
Bet he’d have a change of heart if he knew his baby daughter was one of those “sickos”
Sometimes Christians ain’t too Christian
She’s got a girl in Indiana and a Bible by her bed
Everybody’s trying to speculate what Jesus never said
She tries to walk the straight and narrow in somebody else’s dress
She’s got a girl in Indiana and a Bible by her bed
There’s a bridge runs over 440
She walks out, says “Whatcha got for me?”
Nowhere to go but down, no other way but out, Lord help me now
Two hands on the rail, one more sad story
Oh, two hands on the rail, one more sad story
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8. |
Old Folks Home
05:02
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621 South Sugar Street
That’s where they’re taking Josephine
First she was just forgetting things
Now she’s gettin’ mean
They kept her home as long as they could
’Til there were more bad days than good
And they had to do what they hoped they never would
Told her she was goin’ on a big vacation
Loaded her up in the station wagon
For the old folks home
People askin’ when they’re gonna go home
Some are lucky enough not to know
Shuffle the halls like apprentice ghosts
To the main cafe
Bingo cards and steak puree
Volunteers smile at vacant faces
Wonder if they’re in better places
Benny, he still has his mind
But they still talk to him like he’s five
Loud and slow and high-pitched like
They’re stuck on autopilot
He wheels himself over to the East wing
To see the Sunday paper crossword queen
They tell stories about the things they’ve seen while they’ve still got memories
Everything is a little less worse when
Someone sees you like a person
At the old folks home
People askin’ when they’re gonna go home
Some are lucky enough not to know
Shuffle the halls like apprentice ghosts
Past the sad gift shop
Where good granddaughters buy their afterthoughts
Pink-flowered cards signed “Love you lots”
For a moment you don’t feel forgot
Esther, she ain’t seen her son
Since the day she didn’t know who he was
He left her with a check and a hug
And hoped that it was love
Months creep by with no phone call
She just rocks her baby doll
Stares at squares of strangers taped to the wall
Hummin’ an old country song
Nurses tuck her in, tell her they love her
But you can’t fix a grieving mother
At the old folks home
People askin’ when they’re gonna go home
They stop askin’ when they just know
Shuffle the halls like apprentice ghosts
Locked up in God’s waiting room
No such thing as gone too soon
The body’s tired, and the mind is too
Wonder when He’s gonna come for you
Take you home, take you home
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9. |
Save Me Tonight
03:48
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I don’t go to church
It’s hard to see the light
When someone’s always hurt
And someone’s always right
We sip Holy Communion
We wear our wedding white
For we know not what we do and
No one’s askin’ why
I might be a little disillusioned
I might be a little gun shy
I just wanna get to where the truth is
Maybe be a little less right
You can say what you wanna say
The sweetest rhetoric ain’t gonna save me
Save me tonight
For God so loved the world
Or did he change his mind
Girls are kissing girls
Guess Jesus had to die
A six-year-old has cancer
We send our prayers and our good vibes
Our prerecorded answer
Lord, Your will, not mine
I might be a little disillusioned
I might be a little gun shy
I just wanna get to where the truth is
Maybe be a little less right
You can say what you wanna say
The sweetest rhetoric ain’t gonna save me
Save me tonight
Maybe someday I’ll come back
Fight fiction for the fact
Put my name back in the hat
I’m still just a little disillusioned
Maybe I’m a little gun shy
I just wanna get to where the truth is
Maybe be a little less right
You can say what you wanna say
The sweetest rhetoric ain’t gonna save me
Save me tonight
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10. |
Birdsong Hollow
04:24
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He drank his coffee cold
Took out the recycling
He didn’t leave a note
They’d know where to find him
He’d talked about it before
On and on about bridges
Said, "Hey, Dad, is it a sin?
Hope God ain’t too religious."
‘Cause he’d heard people say it’s simple
It’s a selfish ambition
For some the body is a temple
But for some it’s a prison
All those haunted voices, they got too loud
They drove him to the edge, so he drove them down
To Birdsong Hollow
He parked between the lines
Slipped the keys in the console
Even read the sign
“Call anytime - There is still hope.”
He paced over the valley
And he thought about his mother
Would she know there was nothin’ she could do
Or would she always wonder
All those haunted voices, they got too loud
He took a leap of faith and he laid down
At Birdsong Hollow
Sometimes you can hear them sing
A chorus of the silent screams
Weary souls who fell into peace
Finally, flyin’, flyin’ free
His dad got home
Wheeled in the recycling
He could feel it in his bones
He knew where to find him
Such a short stretch of highway
For such a long, long road
He ran down to hold him
And to let him go
At Birdsong Hollow
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Stephanie Lambring Nashville, Tennessee
"One of Nashville's most fearless young singer-songwriters" - NPR Music
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